My Weeks..

Herm.. Its been kind of a long time after my last update.. Well, let me show what i've doing on my lousy day these past week..
- eat, sleep (usual stuff)
- extra class (5 tuition class/1h30m each)
- renovate my lawn
- build my own fish pond (its look like a hole really)
- spending my time on Rambutan tree
- googling over the camera for nothing
- stare off into space
- a few attempt to read/finish Eclipse without falling asleep
- sketching (my art skill getting worse)
- sulking over my damn hairstyle (getting better day by day)
So, that it is my weeks..
Boring much.. T-T

Haircut.. Pathetic

I went to cut my hair today. My friend want to treat me as she also want to cut her hair. We thought the price was low(like we use to pay) So, both of us happily told the lady to cut our hair like the picture.So, we pay her well.But, what frustate me is,its look like some crazy monkey chop it.Not only it was building high expensive, my hair doesnt have even a slightest bit of what i want.
Wat i want:

Become this:

Living Zombie..

I am a pile of crap..
I AM A LIVING ZOMBIE..
Tired+Stress+Guilty+Depressed+Self-concious

E.Y.E RESULT, G/B..?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
I dont want to know..
*Chillax self, chill* T_______T
-EDITED-
I dont know how my result look like, but, according to my bestie, i am STILL in the first class..*thank God*
I guess, that should make me happy and be at peace..
BUT
Somehow, it doesnt make me feel the feeling that i've been craving before knowing my result..
Maybe, the fact that i'm not fully. ....
Ergh..
I know i've bitching a lot lately..
Sitting here, make me think..
HOW I WASTE MY LIFE BITCHING
I'm sure i never write bout my happy moment..
But, i just cant..
Looks like i have more ideas to talk when it come to my sulking..
Now that i start mumbling nonsense, i think i should stop..
Later..

Another Crappy Post

-Holiday-
My holiday is dull..
Nothing..
Do everyday chore..
Study? WWU
-Perfect Photo-
I scrathed myself in order to get perfect picture..
A few cuts and scrathces..
Stinging!!
-Boredemn-
And, boredness lead to curiosity which bring harm..
-PROCASTINATE-
I am..
Ingnorance is a bliss(taken from zaty)
-> Lastly, i want to go to try to cry a bit.. A bit weird.. Being crazy.. Doing stuff..
> And i think this is how my holiday going to end..
Crappy post.. Thanks to Mr. Boredness Feeling..

Purchasing the 'Breaking Dawn'..!? WWU??

Ngahahaha.. By now, i'm waiting my friends finishing their mid-breakfast meal.. Erm.. Yum?
I know i'll regret my decision after this.. But, well..
Let this insanity fall down selflessly(w.t.fudge)..
BREAKìNG DAWN as my possesion..
Got the idea?

Officially banned(sp?)

I am banned(sp?) from SWEET.
See, i even dont know how to spell it.
How can i stay away..?
*flashback*
-somewhere in the middle of conversation on dinner-
Mummy: Yeah..*nod* Your sis are right, Bella. U got your Abah's genes more than mine. More tendecies to get diabetes. *listing more thing that i'm not bother to write*
Me: *still chewing*
Sis: Mum's right u see..
Mummy: U ARE NOW BANNED FROM SWEET..
*end of flashback*
Aaaaaaawwwww......*long whine*
I WUB SWEET..!!

My room FLOOD!! Again..

Yep! It is..
Its been 146345 times its get flood..
Ok. I exagerate the number a bit..
Ok! A lot..
But, well..
I need someone to blame on..
Who the hell is the archìtect of this damn house..
Why on earth my so-fudge-up of a room always FLOOD..
Gah..
Now, i dont have to go to the swimming pool
coz
i already have one in my room..*sarcasm*

The wedding and daze..

Aaah!
Rainbow star..!
My.. My..
The wedding..
*blurt out*

Owh.. O.o??

These past few days, i've been drinking weird taste tea.. Herm..
Is it because my to much consume of coffee..?
Nah.. Maybe not.. I guess..?

Suatu petang yang gelap..

Dua tiga hari ni, rasanye nak memperkayakan bahasa Malaysia. Sekarang ni, saya tengah tengok langit. Macam yang saya biasa lakukan. Langit hari ni gelap. Awan yang bertompok di dada langit pun hitam. Angin terasa mencucuk ke tulang hitam. Kucing di kaki, berlingkar tidur. Memandang air hujan ni buat saya rasa sayu pula. Teringat pula pada post-post saya sebelum ini. Semuanya tentang perasaan kecewa saya.
I AM SO SELFISH!
Haih.. Kenapa la saya asyik mengeluh dan merungut. Tak sedar agaknya saya ni yang semua tu cubaan dari yang Esa. Sebab, Allah sayang saya. Langit gelap, tapi saya suka. Bawa satu rasa keinsafan. Kagum dengan ciptaan-Nya.
Kaku saya di sini. Herm.. Angin menderu kuat. Mengalun zikir. Astagfirullahalazim. Indahnya hidup ni.
Dua tiga hari ini jugak lah, sahabat tersayang asyik bercakap tentang cinta. Banyak yang mereka berdua bahaskan. Dan banyaklah juga yang saya bebelkan. Mendengar berdua, terasa pulak seperti ingin bercinta. Mahu mencari pengalaman.
Haha.. Lucu sungguh minda saya.. Herm..

I MISS MAKKAH

Huuu... I really miss this place. I want to feel the innocence feeling again..

Bila saya bercakap tentang cinta...

Yep.. Hari ini blog 'post' dalam Bahasa Malaysia..
Berbalik kepada tajuk, kawan-kawan selalu jadi macam 'dumbstruck' ect.. ect.. bila saya cakap tentang cinta..
I BELIEVE IN LOVE.
Mestilah! Mungkin kerana saya jarang berbicara mengenai hal ini bersama mereka secara terbuka. Kalau boleh, kebiasaanya, saya cuba mengelak dari menyentuh topik CINTA..
Bagi saya, CINTA itu CINTA..
Entahlah.. Saya pun dah penat memikirkan ayat, kata-kata, pepatah ect.. ect.. tentang maksud CINTA..
Cinta
Itu
Perasaan
Yang
Lahir
Dari
Sudut
Jiwa
Konklusinya, CARILAH CINTA YANG DIREDHA
>post ini untuk ABAH. Abah, acik sayang abah..
Mungkin lidah ini tak pernah menyebut di depan..

Looking through..

Its the break, and i'm feeling not-so-holiday. My mind still in exam fever. Just thinking bout it made me shiver. Waiting for my result is a pain in the a**. It felt weird, depressing, choking. Herm..
It's raining heavily right now. And i'm hoping that the raindrop could sooth me sort off. My serenade.
I guess, in a few days, i'll get the rest..
Herm...
>My model today is my friend, yaya. Looking deep through..

A hobo attack us!! Wargh!!!!

Yeah.. Not me, but my friend..
The story is like this, my friend and i were waiting our bus at the stop, then, there is guy at there. A man in his late fifthy-es, wearing 'kopiah', spectacles and look kind of decent. Well, basically, a normal old Malay folks. We just ignore him and chat among us. When, we were getting on the bus, still talking among us, that man, poked my friend arm. We were shocked! Then he start harassing my friend with mean word. He even throw a paper to her. Man.. I thought my friend is going to cry.. But, shes tough. Luckily, there is one guy kind enough to help us.
Thanks sir!!
After that, we just roll our eyes and try to shrug ìt off..
Well, its something isnt..
Haizz..
P/S: i wrote this straight on bus. I have this urge to snap the hobo man pict, but, can you imagine if he catch me.. Oh my.. And, i kept glancing at back for a few time..

T......T

All the best for all SPM candidates and to myself and my besties and also friends for our final exam..
Lame opening as always.
I'm thinking bout posting another picture too, BUT, as my brilliant hunny cell phone dont work that way, i just can post one picture only..
Today paper is *cue music -drumroll-* yay, the famous Additional Mathematic.. Woot.. NO! Its fricking fudge hard! Man.. Sux!
I'm hoping on passing for this paper..
*sigh dramatically*
Meaning, i have and need to pray a lot of Solat Hajat..
And, BTW, i'm on the process making my rents to bring me to the Holy Land of Mecca again next year.. Amin..
I need that innonce feeling again..
SONG OF TIME - INNONCE Avril Lavigne

A doodle, bangle, wristwatch and ring

I know, lame opening right?? But, who cares. I'm fricking fudge up right now.. God!! Why do we have to sit on exam. Seriously! Thinking back, all of our life seems tend to 'hey, go study! You got exam. Good result, better college. Do good in college.. And bla, bla, bla...' Dont you think i'm right..? I am seriously want to get over with my final exam and just go for a vacation. But, no! My rents just have to make me go for a tuition class this coming break.. Seriously! Just give me a break for a second from all those fricking hard 10 SUBJECT of my study. Argh!! My life is fudge up lately. Lame. Lame. Lame. So much thing happen at one time. SELF!! Chillax.. U got it cover up.. T-T 8B

Do you..?

Ever feel like crying? I did just now. But i cant. I feel unease. Thing felt so wrong. Heavier. I dont have my comfort place. People never listen to me. Inside. No! Dont blame them for the have own problem. Friends seek my comfort. Not that i blame them for my unease. Yet, i find it as learning. Not bragging or boasting bout it, but, its true indeed. I dont blame. Really guys! Im glad you find me instead of other. I really did. I dont have my own comfort place yet i dont want to seek one. Im afraid itll torture him. Yet, i dont blame other nor life for life is life. Hopefully, ill find the one. My comfort place. Self, you are strong. Keep that in mind. Dear Allah, thanks for the live you gave me. Amin. Ill find my comfort place soon and he too could make me as his comfort place of his own. He should. Really.. See me in the inside. I know i am a good actor for one never success to guess im faking.. But, dont be guilty or think im blaming you. No i am not. It just its me the one who carry the blame.
Love, me.

Life and future

Thats my feet.. My post today is bout future and life. Sometime, i wonder what could happen next. Life could be great. And it also could be hate. Erm.. I dont know.. People perspective are differ. I dont judge for they have their own reason. For future, i dont know what to expect. Today story tell me something else. But, on other minute, it could just change like that. Still, i hope for the best.

First post, Last post of the month. Maybe..?

Exam is today.. Yay.. My first paper today is art. Easy peasy(sp?).. NOT! I dont get it why dearest teacher of mine have to do cooking demo in art room. WTF? *F FOR FUDGE, i dont curse, occasionally* I need peace here teacher.. I can still hear the sound of the loud food processor. Its ringing. PLUS, with the annoying rambling and teasing from my lovely seniors(boys). Wonderful.. Luckily i managed not to make the painting look like crap. Or, at least.. Hehheehe.. What? Dont look at me.. Can you imagine i've been hovering(literally) on the canvas for 5 hours straigt!? God! My back hurt.. Cant feel my arm.. Its numb! I got BM test tomorrow.*God! Long essay!!*
Oh.. I think this could be my last and first post of this month for i have 3 long weeks of exam *how great is that* I'm not so sure yet.. This blog is like my diary, so, i'll write back in anytime soon.
I hate saying goodbye. Its like were leaving the life on world.
Well, ttyl..

Yeah! Finally..!!

Finally i got the bonjela thingy for my mouth ulcer! Sip! Sip! Banzai!! Sip! Sip! Banzai!!

At the beach.. Again.. Fun? Right!

My dad school make this one family day. I'm stuck with old folks and soooo many kids! God!! How fun is that. I dont heart beach so much coz i always drown. In my dreams. Lol.. I got nightmare!! Horrible.. Now, with the folks and KIDS, i'm stuck with the vidw of this bimbo in front of me. What the hell do you do by talking on your super cheap cell in front of me, you twag! Move! Your ruining the view.. Heh! Like i'll do that.. Pfftt.. Yeah right.. Her friend come along and bring a little girl which i suppose the cell bimbo daugther.. I'm stuck with her and her daughter.. What cha looking at twag! Heh.. I think she know i'm writing bout her.. Wakaka.. Your guess is right twag.. Duh..

I am

I am a psychologist/motivator/caunselor/confession place ect ect ect.. RIGHT!
Sorry guys.. I'm not mad at ya'll.. It just.. Erm.. Nah.. Let stop bout this. I'm tired.. Can i kill myself? NO! That stupid self..

Scribble scrib..

Quizzes Girls Games

Haa.. I was bored out of my mine.(not that i dont have something rather important to do) I am bore coz i cant talk much(like i do talk much before. Heh..) Plus, on the other side, i just want to kill some times.. Not mentioning that i havent post like forever(its only two days actually)
Hehhehe..

Uhh..... T-T

Uhh.. This post is kind of my bed time stories. Instead of me listening, i am the one who do the talk. So, ok! Here is the thing. My mouth hurt. Like.. Uhh.. Basically, its hurt. I got some ulcer in my mouth. Ulcer meaning i dont have enough water. Which bring to the word of dehydration. DEHYDRATE mean i am stress. So much thing have been (and still) going on around me this past weeks. Things that crave my attention. A lot! Not that i freak out. I dont get stress easily though. I dont express them for sure. It just that weird on how instead of i go crazy and start freaking myself out, its my body who take the action. Bizarre or not, i just get tired. I'm all worn out. Even, (yes, this is the typical word) i got tired from breathing.. Herm.. Now, its kind of late for me. Its raining outside and i'm hoping on having a dreamless sleep. I need that!! Bye-bye.. And night..

Can i?

Can i go to a place with no one know me?
A place where i can be alone.
A rural far from others.
A place it so queit that i can fall asleep peacefully.
A place with no people.
Just me, my camera, music and nature.
Where the fluffing cloud sway lazily.
The wind blowing shyly.
The flower bloom happily.
The grass dance in the rythym.
And i lay on the grass.
Camera in my hand.
Music take me.
And my eyes watching His greatness..

Honestly.. Can you be more difficult..

God!! How piss i am! Stupid thing.. Honestly..
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Gah!!!
P/S: sorry. got kind of mad. That thing piss me..

God!! I'm bored!!!

Awwww... I'm bored!!! This sux.. *keep whining for an hour* I cant go out. There's no game room or something here. The beach is far far away.. *eh? That sound typical* I keep flicking through the chanel. Same lame thing is on. Stupid thing..!! Whats up with this story! Not original at all. TYPICAL!!!
Gah!! I'm bored as hell.. Thought that would be writing on the other blog (trodden the road) but, yeah. No idea..
Plus, fb is being such an ass! Quizilla too! Ass!!! Ops.. Excuse my French..
B O R I N G ! ! ! !

I'm crushable-est??

Quizzes Girls Games

You're the crushable-est!
Can a quiz have a crush on a person? Because this quiz is kinda making googly-eyes in your direction. It's hard to believe you're real! The person who's simultaneously confident in him/herself and believes in others, too? Be still our beating hearts! We bet, whether you know it or not, someone out there may even already have a crush on you. And if not: just keep it up, they're on the way. Thank goodness you'll be nice to them, because otherwise you might be a total heartbreaker. You go, Crushmaster. And what are you doing this Friday night?

This thing was weird..O.o

Yay!! Going to the beach!!!!

Dad just book a cute little chalet for us today..
I'm going to the beach..
I'm going to the beach..
*dance aimlessly*
I can't wait for tomorrow.
BEACHHH!!!!!!

When i got sick

When i got sick, i easily get annoyed.
Just got back from school and i was totally piss off..
My cold is getting worse..
At school this morning, the gits was CHAOS..
Gah!!!
Stupid retard gits..
I don't know how i manage not to kill
all those gits..
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!
When i got sick, i'm always grumpy.
When i got sick, i get really slow-mo.
When i got sick, i can't stop talking.
When i got sick, i got crazy and random.
Now, i'm sick and i feel horrible. Feel like i was just hit by a truck..
And,
of course i look like mess..
Total disaster..
Haiz..

One Rainy Day..

"Innocence"
Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling
This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by
I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling
This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by..
Just chilling and trying to calm down..
I 'LOVE' MATH!!!!!!!

What is LOVE..??

What is LOVE?
One of my friend ask this.
What is LOVE actually huh?
Haiz..
My head spinning like crazy..
My heart is blue..
"Are you ready to cut off your head and place your foot on it? If so, come; Love awaits you! Love is not grown in a garden, nor sold in the marketplace; whether you are a king or a servant, the price is your head, and nothing less. Yes, the cost of the elixir of love is your head! Do you hesitate? 0 miser, It is cheap at that price!"
- Abu Hamid Al-Ghazzali
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
- James Baldwin

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
- James Baldwin

I MISS YOU!!!! guys..

I miss my bestie.. All of them..

My Turqoise Euphoria

In the blue,
I see green.
In green,
I can see the blue.
Both are differ.
Far than differ in each other.
The scheme.
The tone.
And,
obviously
The colour.
But,
The have one thing
In common.
They are unique.
The feeling they gave are the
SAME.
My euphoria is
EUREKA
when i found them BOTH
in
My Turqoise Euphoria..

Black Coffee

When people heard BLACK COFFEE,
I almost sure that this
one word would pop up
in their mind
''Bitter...!!''
Well, that what usually people wil think.
For me,
''Erm.. Sweeeet...''
I always love BLACK COFFEE
with lot of sugar.
Bitter at first, sweet at the end.
Coffee, especially black, is condiser as 'mature people drink'. It show that the person is an adult because coffee always seems to relate with maturity.
For me,
BLACK COFFEE is my child side.
CAFFEIN and SUGAR combination
will hyper me out..
So much memories...

Anaesthetic Azure..

The day felt numb.
No emotion.
Peace.
Laugh.
Fear.
Happy.
Sad.
Anger.
Overwhelmed.
Curious.
Confuse.
Bitter.
Calm.
Disturbed.
Hurt.
Love.
Hate.
Nothing.
It just plain nothing.
The anaesthetic azure..

A talk with Yaya.. 2

Yaya:Hah hah.act u r nt weird bt its juz like u r too cool..i n like u dat way!.wat dream?stil haunting u meh?tel me tel me..me?same goes to me.ntin special..juz bz n mix of feelin now.!
Me:Oh.. Why tq. U making me blush by giving me that compliment.. Erm.. Do i have to? Well, i have this weird dream. Extremely weird. In the dream, i sumhow become a nanny xiah. Fuckin freakin xiah!!! Well, that still fine wit me. But, one thing that really burn is i have this freaking obvious crush toward him! Me!? U gotta b kiddin! No way dude! Nu-uh.. Not me.. N he is freakin oblivious to my feelin towards him.. Gah! Wat a dream.. Since then, i cant take his face outta my head!! NOOOO!!! Yaya:Wakakaka.yeah3.i do read dat on yur blog too?n u knw wat i react?hah hah.i juz cnt stop laughing aftr dat..xiah ok wat?he charisma guy!he's da one dat say dat!haiz.xiah hnsme cute.keep on yur dream!hah hah.bt y must u being his maid??weird2
To be continue..

A talk with yaya.. 1

Yaya: Huh?did u write it all or juz a piece of cute msg dat u got from others??ngeh3.evil laugh..btw thanks 4 da cmment at my recent post..
Me:Nope! I juz torture sumone to write that msg. I hope my hard work worth it. Muahahaha.. No la.. Juz kiddin. Ur the first n the only one to get it. Ur welcome..
Yaya:Hah hah..wow!bangge wes.wink3...wat?u torture sum!??who3?n y!curious
Me:Lol.. My inner self? That gotta b count as sumbody too. Well, if refering to my many weird personality.. *Shrugged* Ngeh3..
Yaya:Hak3.yeah3.got it got it meh..cmpare to yur weird sceptic personality..ok ok.i ald read al yur post juz now!mind to share y u h8 yur life now?
Me:Ngeh3.. I know.. I'm juz too weird.. Oh.. My blog u mean? Well, my life now..? Herm.. Except that weird dream i had, notin special happen. Juz boring n usual thingy. Yeah know, that dream still buggin me.. Urgh.. Well wat about u..? Anythin special? 'wink' o.O?
To be continue..

For Aku yang Halus - lelaki itu lemah bersebab

Erm.. Hye to you.. Sorry for interupting. Well, not all women are the same. There, you state 'wanita'. From my hearing, it state to ALL women. The thing is, those lady could change. We can't judge though. It's only a matter of time. I'm not saying that ALL women are good. But, better stay positive even the reality is not. Then, if it is true woman use their charms, why don't the man neglect it. No offense there though.. I'm not siding to any side coz i'm not perfect too. Just saying my view. Sorry if this post burn..
Peace.. Ehhehe..

'Pengat Pisang' on rainy day..

Gah.. Watta tittle. Silly isn't?
It's rain a little by now. Mom cooked 'pengat pisang' using my sister-in-law's parents souvenir which is obviously bananas..
My favourite evening dish. For tea time actually.
Well, its raining but the air is hot. Kinda puffy.
My cats, yeah cats, are playing happily. Mimi in the basket and luna is laying lazily in her usual pose. While me, enjoying the still-hot-pengat pisang.
As i'm having this creamy sweet dish, some old flashback kept bugging me. More to a nightmare actually.
Herm..
Think i should write bout it later..
The nightmare of course..
Coz now, i'm trying to enjoy the 'pengat pisang'
Excuse me..
P/S; this post is weird.

Gah.. What a weird dream i had.. o.O..?

Well, i have this weird dream last night. Extremely weird.. Gah.. You know, in the dream, i, myself, somehow, become a nanny to this guy from TVXQ band. I, myself, feel it kinda funny. Me? ROFLMAO.. Gah.. I think his name is Xiah if i'm not mistaken. But, the thing is, in the dream, i have this crush to him! So obvious that others can see it. Eek!! No way dude!!! Na-uh.. Not me.. But, him, act so oblivious. Now this burn. I'm the one who should act oblivious. Not him..!! Gah.. Sorry.. Got carried away.. Now, thinking back to the reason of this goofy dream, i think i don't saw his face last night. (I usually dream bout people if i saw them) Weird.. ?.? Erm.. 'wander for a hour and half'
Haa!!
Now, i know!! That video clip!! I knew it. Gee.. I know i shouldn't watch it. But, being me, i watch it.. Gah!! I don't suppose to like him.. Now i can't get his cute face outta my mind! NOOOO!!!!!! I'm getting crazy. Waz, my friend, i think i'm liking your oppa. Sorry. No. No. No. No. No. It's not happening.
P/S: OUT

Hadith Qudsi..

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said :

''When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing His book which is laid down with Him. □ My Mercy prevails over my wrath.''

It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, an-Nasa□i an Ibn Majah)

P/S: ....

I'm back!!!!

Hohoho.. Hye peeps! It's been a long time.. Now, i got my phone back. Yay!! So, i'm going blogging again.. Yay! Well, just this for now.. And, happy eid mubarak peeps!!
P/S: this year, i don't get much 'duit raya'. Sux to be big.. Huahaha.. Just jk..

NOTICE! I'm out for 3 weeks..

Okay. Here's the deal my imaginary friend (i'm not sure if people actually do read my blog.. No offense) I'm not going be able to post in this site as my sister, want to borrow my phone which are my only source to Internet. She's gonna use it for about 3 weeks. That mean this blog won't be update for 3 weeks later. But, if i can convice my dad to allow me use his phone, i'll be blogging again.. Last word, sweet 16 to my friend, fadlin a.k.a donut.. So that all peeps.. Last blog..
P/S: do read this? 'hint.hint'

Just read if you want..-part two-END

Like i'll wake up tomorrow morning and i somehow become a princess and live a life happily ever after.. So cliche.. Corny and cheesy.. Ergh.. I'm pathetic.. But, who cares.. It just i feel tired by now.. Really, really tired.. Even to breathe i don't think that i have the energy.. Yay.. Go me.. If only.. Yeah.. If only. But, life wasn't about if only.. It about... Ugh.. Who care. I don't wanna even think about it. IT. HURT. SO. MUCH. IN. THERE.
P/S; sorry for my helplessnes. I'm having my day...

Just read if you want..-Part one-

Do you ever have a time when you feel all you wanna do is just to melt in the dark, being invisible and not care anymore? Coz if you have, you'll know what it feel like coz, it is what i feel now. All i wanna do is, just to blend in the dark and stay like that forever. I've come to this verge of crying but i just can't. I feel like i want to stop breathing coz everytime i breath, it hurt so much in the chest. All the pain is crazy. All i ever wanted is to stay in a deep sleep for forever coz it is the only time i feel calm. Nothing pain. Just peace. Yeah. I know i sound pathetic. If life just can be change, i'll choose to stay in the other side of the world where people is different and just plain different. I always like new place. It make me happy. Leave all my worryness, trouble, people and life where i leave now. If life somehow change after i sleep and i wake up to a new life, that would be great. But, life wasn't about dream. It's a reality. There's no such a happy ending like disney movie.
tobecontinue

BARBEQUE..!! Fun?

Wargh.. I smelled like barbeque gravy.. Erm.. Yum? Well my bro decide to have barbeque today. I have no offense to it as long as i'm not the one who cook it. I hate smoke. Ask me anything but not to cook that thing. I hate it because i'll end up sweaty and smell like i use barbeque sauce as perfume. Eww.. How feminine is that.. Yeah, right..
P/S; i betta get going. Mom gonna cook me if stay here any longer.. Muahaha.. Just joking. My mom not that cruel..

I act because of JOY..

When you think, act and feel, it's because of Joy. If it makes you feel good, feel happy, feel like there is a purpose to life, you'll be glad to do it. Although sometimes naive and quick to act, you have good intentions. You'll push the limit on yourself if you have to. You're more than willing to change and actually embrace it. Taking care of others before yourself is something that you do with a passion. Not because of any reward or other purpose except that it is a kind act and makes you absolutely elated with happiness. The Joys are the most likely to be a humanitarian, a (moralistic) vegetarian, drive hybrid cars or volunteer at charities. You easily connect with other people and have an unusual talent for getting folks to open up to you. Joys are loving, nurturing, accepting, selfless, wise and, paradoxically, naive, very pure-hearted.
P/S; another quiz result. Kinda corny, but it's fun..

I am an oatmeal cookies!!

Oatmeal Cookie
these types of people are warm, loving and caring......they can be very restless and or romantic....they are very goo in relationships and take a more psychological approach to intuition and yet their hearts are still set on being one with the universe....they make good people look better....they are logical yet have thee eyes of intuitive wisdom....if you are dating this person then you have made a very wonderful new discovery....you struck gold and no one can replace that unless they were jerks and liked something else....usually you think way outside the box with intuitive thinking with logical reasoning, but too much logic is not too good... especially when it comes to feelings....many people love to like you and many people would love to hate you....either way they cannot win...gold is gold and silver cannot compare....
P/S; i take this quiz on quizilla and this is my cookies result.

Ugh..

Ugh.. I'm on the quizzilla(good site ya knoe) just now. But i can't stand it anymore. As i check all the peeps journal, all say, rip, deceased, fly high, in memory and blahblah..
Urgh..
I hate it..!!!!
Some think it fun saying i want to die, i wanna kill myself, even they set the day. WTH!!!!!
I hate when people play about death..
My friend almost die and everytime we get him back, we were so happy(for ryan, keep healthy).
Then,
my depression level get higher got when i read those sickening journal. I know that all of us have problem.. Even me too.. But, why choose death as the end. Why don't you try to solve it. If you just can,
Just move on..
But, why death? Why..!? WHAT!? You think after you die, u'll leave all problem away? No, you .....! It won't!!! You think it the best way? Don't you know that, people who love you will suffer more than you..
In the end of the day, what does death get you?
Easy, NONE!!!!!
P/S; just don't die yet, ryan! You got so many thing to accomplish first. Remember those dreams?

Haa.. Random Song!!

And when it rains on this side of town It touches everything Just say it again and mean it We don't miss a thing You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
and convinced yourself that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore
and no (oh ) how could you do it (oh I ) I never saw it coming (no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay Just long enough to explain And when it rains
You always find an escape Just running away From all of the ones who love you From everything You made yourself a bed at the bottom Of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And you'll sleep till May
P/S; It's by paramore- i don't remember the tittle.. LOL..

Erm..

FrankietheBear (he insist to put that): Well done Captain Oblivious..!!
Drake: Gee.. Great..*note the sarcasm
Tim: You somehow manage to understand it. Good job, bro!
Jake: Duh.. Retard..
Hayden: Www... WHAT...!?
*all faint except Jake and Hayden*
Hayden: *stutter* What did I say..?
Jake: Dude. No offense. But, you are bloody retard..*walk away*
P/S; this is stupid..argh

Yet another song..

going back to the corner where i first saw you,
gonna camp in my sleeping bag. i'm not gonna move,
got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
saying if you see this girl can you tell her where i am,
some try to hand me money they don't understand,
i'm not... broke i'm just a broken hearted man,
i know it makes no sense, but what else can i do,
how can i move on when i've been in love with you...
cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i can be,
thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet,
and you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
so i'm not moving...
i'm not moving..
P/S; it a song by the script- the man who can't be move i think..

Weep.weep.. Song!!!

My best friend gave me
The best advice
He said each day's a gift
And not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take
The path less traveled by
That first step you take
Is the longest stride
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Against the grain
Should be a way of life
What's worth the prize
Is always worth the fight
Every second counts
'cause there's no second try,
So live like you'll
Never live it twice
Don't take the free ride
In your own life
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
P/S; it's 'if today is your last day by nickleback. I heart them.. Lol.. So cheesy of me..

YAY!!!!!!!!

Finally my fever run down! *weep.weep* Applause for me peeps!! Cheer for the joy!! Muahahaha..!! By now, i'm enjoying(trying) my tea.. Maa said it good for me to regain my energy back.. Phew.. Luckily i made it extra sweet. 3 sugar cube lol!! Sweeeeet.... *weep.weep* Muahaha.. What..!? Maa said i look slimmer(sp?). So, i need my fat again.*wink* Huahaha.. I think i better stop. I got sugar poison. To active to sit and write on here.. Muahaha..!!! It's raining and i want to play in the rain...!!!
P/S; i'm gonna catch fever don't i..? Song of the time, i'm just in love-glay. Kinda cute. It's j-rock..

Urgh....

By now, i'm feeling like a crap. My head hurts like crazy. Try to focus on doing my homework.. But, crap!! I can't! It's been a few day since i catch fever. Ugh.. When it'll cool down..? Haiz.. I left school today(again).. What i've been missing to cool my fever.. I take my med. Check my body temp hourly. Bath for a few time. Eat..(though i saw everything nauseous and make me wanna puke). What i haven't down yet.. Argh.. My head's killing me..
P/S; song of the time-nothing. Every sound annoy me. Make my head feel like it's gonna explode.

It's a song..

Waiting your call, call im sick, call im angry, call im desperate for your voice, listening to the song we used to sing, in the car do you remember, butterflies carry summer, its playing on repeat, just like when we would meet like when would meet, i was born to tell i love you and i am torn to do what i have to make you mine, stay with me tonight..
Yea.. I know, not the right song for the 'hope' post..
P/S; it's 'your call' by secondhand serenade.

Hope..

In the name of hope,
In the name of love,
And,
In the name of fear,
Dear Allah,
Bless our heart,
Our soul,
Our mind,
And,
Please protect us from any harm.
Live, love and laugh..
P/S; nothing to say..

WHATTT.....!!!???

My school is closed for a week..!? Lol.. How come, duh..? Haiz.. Looks like my frog-cutting-experiment is going to be postponed.. What a waste.. What a waste.. But,
forget about that. The thing is i'm worry about my own health and my friends. Then epidemic become pendemic. It worsen time by time. And the worse thing is, it spread through air.. I can't imagine it.. God, please protect us..
P/S: it's raining and i wish it will stay like this forever. Times seems like it's not moving..

I'm waiting...!!!

At school, duh.. Haiz.. 'm so bored lol.. It's 4 p.m n sumting.. WARGH....!!! By now, i'm hanging around with m'friend, yaya n other(like u'll know them if mention their name). Say hye hun! She say hye.. (Yeah.. I know u read it by now) Urgh.. My tummy hurt.. Kinda weird.. Maybe.. Erm.. It's... Erm.. It's the.. The time of the month.. Hahaha... Yeah.. Juz jk lol.. I'm so bored to death that i keep babbling about anything that i write. Cen2 is reading bout what i write by now. (N yeah.. Yaya.. U still read the novel) Herm.. ''out for a while'' . . . . . . . . . . . . Haa!!!!!!!! 'm back! Duh.. I'm so silly right.. Haiz.. The boredness killing me!!! Somebody! Move your a'' and come grab me here.. Argh.. I'm dying.. ''fainted''
P/S; i'm dead..-_-

Eating out..!! Urgh...:(

Haiz.. I hate eating out.. Really.. Hate.. It.. Lol.. Never like it.. Lost my appetite. Always feel uncomfortable. Argh!!! I'm suffering here.. SOMEBODY COME AND GRAB ME FROM HERE!!! Hey, gotta go..
P/S; If look could kill..

Outside..

Herm.. I'm outside the house. It's raining. Yeah.. Again.. Hey.. I love rain. I enjoy the cool air.. Always love it.. My now-cold-hot-chocolate is colding.. Hah..? Never mind.. The air is chill. Hey.. It's not like i want to catch cold.(I already catch one) Haiz..
Better get in fast.. It's chilling fast.. I don't want my cold worsen..
P/S; wow!! 3 post in one day..? Big number for me..

Another song..

In my place, in my place, were lines that i couldn't change, i was lost, oh yeah, i was lost, crossed line i shouldn't have crossed, i was lost, oh yeah, how long must you wait for him, yeah, how long you must pay for him, yeah, how long you wait for him, i was scared, i was scared, tired and unprepared, but i wait for you, if you go, if you go, leaving me here on my own, well i wait for you
P/S; love this song, kinda suit my feelings by now. This song is by coldplay, in my place..

Yay..!? Finally... Huh..?

Yeah.. Finally i found out about this alex guys.. He's a canadian and model. And a photographer-to-be. I found his blog. Yay...? That's why i thought i saw him somewhere. Well, i'm sort of happy to kno who is him finally, but, at the same time, i feel sick of myself. Disgust. Nauseous. Haiz.. So sick of me. Ya know what, i always have this some type of like-hate feeling towards something or people. Especially someone who i think is cute and i like him(argh!!!) I hate to admit that like him.. Really.. Urgh.. Sad isn't..? Yeah.. I know. But, it just something that i couldn't explain myself.. It just like, if i admit i like him, i'll get humiliate or worse, get kill. Ugh.. I don't know. I always think that if i like someone, i shouldn't say. I don't want to be like his fans. I hate to put myself in the situation. I feel extremely stupid of myself. Yeah.. Extrmely ya know.. Herm.. I always think like this. And i lie about it. I can
P/S; music of the time, sound of raindrop on my window.. My lullaby to dream...-_-

Love topic...?

Love, huh? Herm. By now, i'm sitting on my house's fence and enjoying my alone time with eating 'buah rambutan'. Yum!! Okay! Here is the story. Today, as usual, in my class, PAI time, me and bestie, buncha and jaena, have a chat. So sneaky of us. Hehhehe. The topic is randow. But, mostly, it is all about love. Yeah. I know. It's not good for us to talk about randow things, especially in PAI class for god sake. But. Erm. Well, back to the story, the thing is how buncha and jaena talk about love. Anything! The both of them love vamps books and have a fight about which book is better. Ya know. The twilight saga and the house of night series. Buncha said edward cullen is handsomer. Jaena said erik knight is better. Haiz. For me, neither of them are handsomer nor better. Buncha said robert is sooo handsome that she like twilight. It just a thing. I don't judge thing (most of the time i don't). They keep argueing. Looks like i'm not talking bout love.Later maybe.
P/S; i'mcuttindisshortmydamfonwontletmewritemore!!

English Debate!!! Herm...

Hal-o people! Today, i went to an english debate quest. I'm the contestant for sure. Haiz.. My team lost to this one team from other district.. I'm okay with that lol.. But, it's funny on how my team mate are really dissappointed with the result.. They are still with the other team mate because they were beat up with questioned like hell. Poor them.. Haiz.. I'm having a headache by now.. Dizzy buzzy feelings..
P/S; ..........-_-..........

Kau.. Aku.. Argh!!!

Haiz.. What's wrong with me.. Keep thinking about him.. Haiz.. Always.. His eyes.. His really cute eyes.. Argh!! It's all my own fault.. Who ask me to surf the internet? Me! Who click the button? Me! Who saw him? Me! Me! Me! Me! And me! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotta go..
P/S; i'm stupid or what?

Raining..

By now, i'm on my bed. Waiting to fall asleep. It's 11.44 pm now.. I can't sleep yet. Many thing is flowing in my mind. People and thing. Haiz.. I desperately need to fall asleep as i got school tomorrow. Plus, i just get back from my teacher house and really tired. My body is quite tired. But, my mind won't shut down. Herm.. I can't sleep. Though, it is raining outside.. Herm...
P/S; nothing much to say... Herm....

Who is he..?

Okay, people. The thing is, i saw this one guy on internet and out of suddenly my curiousity increase. Who is he..!? All i know is his name is alex evans and those cute eyes of him. Hehhehe.. I'm blushing a shade of pink for saying that.. Haiz.. So, who is he...!? I'm so stupid!! Thinking like that for a guy. Haiz.. Haiz.. Herm.. Gotta go. Got to finish my script for debate. Haiz.. I keep saying that a lot, right..? Haiz.. See? Again.. ''sigh and faint''..
P/S; comment!!! Desperately lol..

Shopping.. Yay...?

Hope you people catch the sarcasm note.. Urgh.. I'm at the biggest mall in my place by now (wonder how i'm writing? Hee.. I got my own way) and i'm stuck at the section i hate the most, the ...... Wargh!! Siot!! Haiz.. Hate it so much here.. Duh.. Haa!! Now we're moving to the section i like. Cloth section. No.. No.. Correction! Man cloth section.. Hey! It's not like i'm tomboy or what lol, it just man cloth is more wearable(wonder if that word available) than all those girly gurl shirt. Some looks like slut cloth.. Eugh.. Not my type! Hey! Hey! It is not like i'm judging or what. Hey! Gotta stop. Mom keep giving me her death glare. Should stop now.
P/S; read and comment..!!

Song...!!!

She's cool and she's cruel but she knows whats she's doin. Strange as its seems she's the one him after. Cause she's bittersweet, she knock him to his feet, she's mystery, she's too much for him and the more she ignore him, the more he adore her cause she's the girl him looking for..
P/S; i pretty make up this song. The real song is by the click five, just the girl. I love this song and edit it for me. SORRY SIR!!!

My tricks happend, but...

Well, when i'm at the verandah last night, this evil thought flowed into my mind. If i got sick, i don't have to go to school today. I'll tell mommy i'm sick. But, here i am, in school. And, the great thing is, i catch myself cold.. I don't have the heart to tell mommy. Haiz.. ..''fainted''..
P/S; bad girl i am.. Ngee

It's raining...

It is raining now. Like to answer my wish before. The air is amazing. I love it! So beautiful and peacefull. The rain is absolutely amazing. It still raining. A heavy downpour. Not what i expect, but, it is fine. As it rain, i have to go in back. It is chilling outside. So, my lil'sis and me decide to cook something to warm us back. The both of us went to the kitchen and start looking for something to cook and eat up.We end up with a bowl of rice noodles soup(i don't eat much), two mug of hot chocolate drinks and a few slices of cake.. Every piece of good thing. Now, i'm outside again. Writing on here. I sat on a comfy chair at the verandah and enjoying my half-warm-hot chocolate drink.. It's seven p.m and something now. I know i have to get back inside somehow.. But, it is calm to be outside. Feeling the cool air flow in my lung.. Well, i better get back inside, or mommy will start lecturing me for having cold tomorrow. I got school..
P/S; keep reading people.. I'll mumble something else again later.. Daa!!

Sitting here..

Herm.. Now, i'm sitting at the edge of my little pool outside in the yard. Letting my feet soaked with the cool-warm water. One moment, the little fish swim to my feet. Tickle my toes. Make me chuckle. I'm daydreaming and do a little thinking here. Think about my life mostly. About what i've done. Stuff and else. Herm.. Think. And still thinking.. ''sigh and hale a deep breath''... Haih.. The breeze is amazing. I could almost feel the tree aroma. Woody and fresh. My eyes can't let go the sky. It's BLUE.. And the cloud sway lazily.. The bird chirping happily. Almost annoying me. But.. Ahh.. It's so peacefull here.. So calm.. I hope it will stay like this forever.. So calm that i wish i won't wake up. It's feel like dreams.. It is reality self.. Herm... It will be really perfect if it is raining. Always love the aroma. Feels like the rain swept off my problem and give me energy.
So fresh and feel new.. Will love rain for now and forever...
P/S; it's sunny today. Don't like it much. But, it's okay... ''shrug''

It's new...

Haa.. It's me. The Raen girl. It just i change my blog. I'm still new on this site. So, somehow, i accidentally forgot my password. Hehehe.. So silly of me.. But, i promise i won't forgot this one.. Yup! I am.. So, please keep reading me if you like.. I'll give the best babbling i have.. Hehehe.. Just joking.. Keep reading me okay, people..
P/S; I'm happy by now..